From: Mike, Lin

To: Steph, Paul, Jan

Sent: Thu July 01 2010 8:18 AM

So far so good…no kids in sight we think they are in the house somewhere. Grandma wanted relayed “S.O.S…stop…coffee running low…stop…can’t find more anywhere…stop…send back up…stop”. Nate also pooped on the potty with Grandma and we have reset the timer to ask him to go again in an hour.

Nothing but T.V. cigarettes and Bon-Bons for us over here so far…Oh we think the kids are ok too

From: Jan

To: Steph, Paul, Mike, Lin

Sent: Thu July 01 2010 8:23 AM

Excellent morning report!

I got tomorrow off!!! Woo-Hoo!

Sabotaged with no coffee!  Uh-oh.  Majorly blowin’ it!  There could be a mutiny!

Wish you all luck!!!

From: Mike, Lin

To: Steph, Paul, Jan

Sent: Thu July 01 2010 10:42 AM

Kids seem good or they haven’t said otherwise at least…Nate has now taught me ways to view pictures and watch movies on my computer I didn’t know existed, this goes as well for the Flip. On the Flip he can now shoot a movie, slide the screen open, scroll and view the movies he chooses to watch…oh yeah he can also flip out the USB for re-charging.

My next mission is to teach him how to make a rum and pineapple since Grandma and I are pretty sure Steph and Paul have already left for Lake Chelan for there has not been any responses on the “Morning Report” and the coffee situation.  

The kids have just finished a lovely meal of yogurt with Cheesy Poofs for desert we taught them to wipe their hands on their clothes as to not waste expensive paper towels or water. Zach seemed to insist on some water to wash his hands so we just had him rub them in the wet lawn which seemed to satisfy him.

That’s all for now it’s almost top of the hour which means Nate will have to go to the bathroom and its Grandma’s turn to take him in the bushes to do so.

Over and Out.

From: Paul

To: Steph, Jan, Mike, Lin

Sent: Thu July 01 2010 11:03 AM

Sorry for late reply…cell reception is spotty on highway 97 heading up the lake…but the reception works well here at the wineries along the Wenatchee River…Cheers Hun!

BTW, Zach will use the toilet water to wash his hands…no need to go outside on the lawn.

From: Mike, Lin

To: Steph, Paul, Jan

Sent: Thu July 01 2010 12:02 PM

Well it’s been confirmed Steph and Paul have fled the city and are wining it up in the country with the best box they could find. This is good because Grandma and I Just got back from a very successful trip to the “Blue Iguana” with the kids.

Grandma told the bartender that they were midgets and sent them to play video poker while we both got liquored up on Vodka Gimlets and Rum and pineapples. Zach won $30.00 which Grandma spent behind my back on expensive Vodka and Jell-O shots while I was in the bathroom.

We also taught the boys how to throw darts and eventually the boys would take turns standing against the wall while the other threw darts around him. This was a real money maker and got plenty of cheers from the other patrons.

Later we had fun seeing how many drinks the boys could bring us from the bar Zach carried 8 and Nate carried 7 before the bartender cut us off. It is of my opinion that we got cut off because Grandma started yelling “Faster little man! Grandmas thirsty over here!”

The best is when they drove us home in Jan’s car. Nate would push the gas and brake peddles while Zach steered and navigated it was a real thing of beauty and example of what can be accomplished with team work you both would have been so proud, Grandma and I brought our drinks with us so we were fine.

That’s all for now Grandma and I are going to take naps while the boys write in the street with chalk.

Over and out.

Last night it got so bad I could barley nap on the couch, I had to convince myself I was drifting off in a third world country it was terrible. After my slumber I lit a candle, emptied the dishwasher, threw away all the food in the freezer, (which could have fed a small third world country) threw away any old food products in the cabinets, and took the floor rugs down to be washed half expecting to find some vermin under them when they were removed…nothing.

I tried to convince myself I had done it and with the combination of a Yankee “Brown Sugar” candle, some Indian belly dancing music on the old HI-FI, and no food in the house I almost pulled it off but without the sand on the floor this atmosphere of disarray fell slightly short…nothing

There was something about the offensive aromas combined with the sweet sugars and harsh grinding of Gypsy violins coupled with the evening heat that made my mind snap.

“No true third world person owns a fridge, it must me removed!”

In my flip flops, stained army shorts, no shoes, long hair, and 70’s porn star mustache I struggled, pulled and wrestled until the great white fridge finally broke free and rolled uncontrollably across the kitchen floor only to be stopped by the slack of the tiniest  electrical cord giving way and unplugging with a “Pop!” from the dust covered socket…

Immediately the offensive smell of rotting meat burst threw the kitchen and shriveled my face, the cats that were playing outside must have caught the scent from the neighbors’ yard and ran to the door at full sprint to reclaim their long lost prize. My eyes through the tears and stinging sweat focused on what appeared to be the rotting corps of “The Great Giant Anaconda of the Nile”!!!

In the end “The Creature” had to be removed with an industrial flat nosed shovel ($24.99 on sale at Jerry’s Home Improvement) and an extra wide landscaper’s rake which was acquired from a mentally ill landscaper who went on the lamb from an alcoholic ex-wife and ten years of back taxes.

James had just finished doing some serious modifying to his Jeep and I was dying to check it out first hand. I certainly wasn’t disappointed, it was awesome, rode like a dream, and was fun as hell great job James.

As always, I manage to leave my mark wherever I go, including James’s driveway.

James wanted my help installing a new exhaust system on his Jeep. This one was supposed to take us one and a half hours but in reality it took that many days.

We called mechanics and even went down to the auto repair shop in town and everyone laughed and told us it was so easy.

This job was tough, a real bear, and at a certain point, we weren’t sure if we were going to get the job done.

After a lot of crying, frustration, panic, and hard work, we got the Jeep back together in time to salvage what was left of the day.

We piled into the newly modified Jeep in the 101-degree heat and headed down Old Priest Grade Road, through Jamestown, and to the Twisted Oak Winery.

We got a few bottles of wine and sat outside in the shade at a nice picnic table while Harlean drew a picture of Jan on the sidewalk.

The little artist herself.

Cheers!

Then we all piled back into the Jeep and headed into Jamestown for a little nachos at an excellent Mexican restaurant.

As we left we heard a band playing some Lynyrd Skynyrd at an open-air bar across the street so we stopped in for an ice cold pitcher of beer.

Apparently the heat was getting to people and it showed.

Well, on some people.

We made a quick stop at the house then jumped back into the Jeep and took a well deserved dip in the Pine Mountain Lake community pool.

On the 4^th of July, we started off the day with an awesome breakfast at PJ’s.

After dropping off some supplies at the lake, we had a water gun fight per little James’s request.

After some killer pulled pork sandwiches and potato salad we went down to the lake to join the festivities.

The next day we had lunch at the Iron Door Saloon where thumb wrestling and arm wrestling were the sports of the hour.

051

After gassing up we made our way to the old historic cemetery.

Afterwards we caravanned it to one of our favorite local off-road spots.

Once there we took some time to pose for a few shots in the staging area.

We dropped it into 4-wheel drive and headed on up the hill.

Looking down at the next section to conquer.

If you look closely you can see a forest fire beginning in the horizon.

The Jeep preformed like a champ.  I couldn’t be happier.

Regrouping.

One final look.

We took a little video on our old point and shoot but the video setting was on El Crappy but you can kind of get the idea.

Thanks, James, for inviting us down.  Jan and I had a blast.  It was sure one to remember.

-Mike and Jan

I wanted to get more exercise, and with plantar fasciitis in both feet, my doctor had recommended bicycling. The problem was I had a fire engine-red beach cruiser that looked like it had been spawned by “Bozo the Clown”.

I decided instead of paying five hundred dollars for a new one I’d take it apart and paint it to match my Jeep.

Hey, how long could it take to paint a bike army green and flat black; right?

Yep, it was pretty much like building models all over again…cooooll!!!

Meanwhile a few photos from my little helpers.

Well, when I tried to put it back together there were some major issues like the front tire spun in a figure eight pattern and, oh yeah, I couldn’t really remember where everything went…hmm I should have taken more pictures. Oh, well. Lesson learned.  I brought it down to the bike shop and, a week later, picked up my new bike.

So I didn’t complete the project in my estimated one weekend (it was two), and technically I didn’t do it all myself, but, hell, it looks cool. AND it wasn’t about what I ate…TACOS!!!

-Mike

In fact we were late enough that we didn’t have to pay for tickets to get in.  Then we found out all of the top runners had finished and gone home and we were left observing some high school kids.

Jan and I didn’t really figure this out until we had been watching and cheering with the other parents for about a half hour.

Even though we missed the whole shebang, I must admit I felt healthier just being around the track…I’m sure they thought I was a coach or something.

Now this is how you run track, big purse and all.

Maybe next year we’ll get there on time.

-Mike and Jan

There was this cool lawn golf game that Jan and Scott played like a couple of sharks.

It was a good day for fishing and Scott caught a couple of doozies…yep, they were a couple of keepers all right.

Stella opened up her own drive-thru window and made a killing on cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and shakes.

Ethan was obviously a happy customer.

Laurie then topped it off by serving her famous chocolate brownies…I don’t know why Pat had her locked up like that.

I thought it would be a good opportunity to test out the new tent and see if it was missing any parts.

It wasn’t.  But, boy, everybody was sure concerned that I was pitching a tent in an unauthorized location.

Though I have been an offender on many occasions this wasn’t one of them!

You know a good time is had by all when the day ends in a good old fashioned dog pile.

Thanks, Laurie and Pat, for having us out.

-Mike and Jan

There has been a lot of wildlife activity here and tree climbing seems to be the sport of choice for Fuji and Mooch.

 Jan and I had fun feeding this guy Triscuit crackers at about 11pm one night…maybe not the brightest idea.

This was Mooch’s first deer hunt, notice the perfect stalking form.

Here’s Fuji undercover waiting to pounce on that elusive bug.

Here’s Mooch trying to eat all Fuji’s cover.

Fuji has started to find this wheelbarrow a comfortable place to rest.

But Fuji never gets too much time alone before…

Mooch loves to climb in this tree and this is one of her signature moves.

I just happened to walk in on one of the cat’s secrete club meetings…they were smoking cigars but I made them put it out.

Mooch has become quit addicted to the cat nip and will do all sorts of tricks to get it.

Mooch being Mooch.

Jan’s orange lilies have managed to stay almost a whole week in the yard without being eaten.

“If that bird would just come down five more feet…”

Sebastian keeping an eye on the girls below.

And the last bit of wildlife to enter our yard this week was our neighbor Rich in his “Trailer Trash” costume…there’s really not enough time to explain this one properly so I’ll just leave it at that.

 Signing off for this week,

 -Mike and Jan

Friday, Paul and Steph arrived around 5pm with the boys in tow and a new Honda Pilot (insert “ooh” and “ah” here). We ate my special pulled pork sandwiches with pineapple rum sauce, baked beans, and potato salad for dinner while Zach and Nate had homemade chicken nuggets, yogurt, and Haagen-Dazs bars.

Fuji was very tolerant of the boys and hung out and played with them while Mooch hid under the bed most of the time and Sebastian simply didn’t come home the whole weekend.

Zach and Nate having fun jumping on our bed.

Nate trying to coax Mooch out from under the bed.

Zach enjoyed playing with Fuji and the feather toy.

Our ten-foot Rhodie literally dwarfed Zach and Nate.

The ol’ Frisbee toss into the trees was a big hit with Zach.

We tried to get a shot of Jan’s lily before the deer could get it.

The big event for Zach and Nate was the trip to “Bounce” even though Zach got his big toe caught in the front door…ouch!  He still managed to jump on the trampoline for 45 minutes! What a trouper!

Afterwards we stopped at “Cornucopia” for lunch.

When we got home, Rich tried to sell me a pair of old shoes and socks…have a garage sale!

Later that day I signed Zach’s band-aid.

Paul and I enjoyed some very tasty rum and pineapple juice drinks.

Steph relaxed on the couch with her Kindle.

Sunday, we took the kids to Skinner Butte Park where Nate refused to get off the swings and Zach pretty much concentrated his time on the slide.

Mooch and Fuji expressed a sigh of relief after getting their house back.

Thanks Paul, Steph, Zach, and Nate for coming down and hangin’ out with Jan and I we had a blast!

-Mike and Jan

We’ve been having beautiful weather here in Eugene so Thursday the top came off the Jeep without any fear it could possibly rain the next day.

Here’s a picture of Jan’s broken finger after being kicked in soccor.

Friday, Jan had dinner with Cynthia and Katy after work at Olive Garden for Cynthia’s pre-retirement party. It was girls only so I stayed home and made a dry rub for the country pork ribs and got them in the refrigerator. I also barbequed some various peppers, onions, corn, and squash.

Saturday, I traded my old tire chains at Les Schwab for cash then went to REI and picked up a pair of Solomon Techamphibian 2 Water Shoes for my sore feet.

Around noon, Paula and Sean picked us up and we went to Chateau Lorane for a wine tasting festival they were having on the lake. It was a great time of food, wine tasting, music and good friends.  The port wine was my favorite though I’m not much of a wine drinker.

Afterwards we went down the road to King Estates for more tasting.

Then we finished the day off with an awesome barbeque at Sean and Paula’s. Sean cooked up some chicken, pork, and hot dogs.  I tried all of it and can say it was delicious. We went to the park next door and Devon showed Scott the finer techniques of fly fishing while the kids wore us out on the merry-go-round.

Sunday wasn’t as nice so I barbequed the four-hour country pork ribs with a fantastic pineapple rum sauce while Jan worked in the yard.

I finally finished painting and installing the cabinet doors for the spare bedroom. Mooch climbed a tree in the backyard and got stuck leaving her sitting out on a limb wondering what to do. Fuji saw her in distress and climbed up the tree right behind her then led her out of the tree by backing down. After Mooch saw that she promptly backed herself out and all was well in the cat world again.

Monday, Jan and I went on our offroad excursion that was about a half hour east of Cottage Grove and started across from the Rujanda campground. According to the fire ranger map this was a designated 4×4 road but I never even had to put it in 4-wheel drive which was pretty disappointing. We did traverse the ridges of June Mountain and saw some gorgeous countryside.

Once we looped back, Jan and I found a meadow to have a picnic and enjoyed our pork tacos and grapes for lunch.

It was a great weekend, thanks Sean and Paula.

-Mike and Jan